


The Nights Were Mainly Made For Sayin' Things That You Can't Say Tomorrow Day

by angelsfallingdeancatch, astrid_lee20



Series: Six Different Ways [6]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Daddy Kink, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, M/M, Nightmares, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:13:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfallingdeancatch/pseuds/angelsfallingdeancatch, https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrid_lee20/pseuds/astrid_lee20
Summary: Bill has a nightmare, but luckily Ben is there to take care of him.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Ben Hanscom
Series: Six Different Ways [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791133
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	The Nights Were Mainly Made For Sayin' Things That You Can't Say Tomorrow Day

**Author's Note:**

> From a part of the Six Different Ways Verse.

Bill sat up with a silent scream, turning and patting the bed in search of someone, anyone, but no one was there. The blankets near him felt cold and empty, and it took him a terrible few seconds to remember that Richie was a few hours away for a meeting and Eddie had a night shift. He sobbed, but no tears would come. Of course this would happen when he was alone, of course he couldn’t just be  _ strong _ .

A sound in the kitchen stunned him, until he remembered that someone  _ was  _ home.

_ Ben. _

Bill stumbled onto the cold floor, cursing at losing a sock in his sleep, and padded out into the kitchen. He glanced at the microwave and saw it was 3 A.M. Bill paused, suddenly shy and unsure what to say.  _ ‘Hey, I had a nightmare, can you take care of me?’ _ What, was he a  _ child _ ? Being “Baby Bill” was making him lose his grip on his self-control, he decided. He frowned, tried to push down his feelings of self hatred, but failed. For now, he was going to let them run their course. Better to do it now while Richie, Eddie, and Stan were gone than let them comfort him and tell him he wasn’t as fucked up as he was convinced he was. He clenched his fists and stepped backwards, entirely intending on sneaking back into bed and staring at the ceiling until morning.

Ben heard the floor creak behind him and whirled around, wide eyed as he tried to figure out what had made the noise. Was anyone else home? He caught a figure standing in the hall and furrowed his brow, relaxing as his eyes started to adjust. He'd know that figure anywhere.

_ Bill _ .

He had literally just shut his laptop down and turned the lights off, intent on going straight to bed. He hadn't meant to work so late, and when he realized it was 3 A.M., he cursed himself for his mistake. He'd been in the same spot since about 8 P.M., and Stan would  _ kill _ him if he were home. Luckily, Stan was out of town for a couple of days for a seminar. He'd be able to sleep enough to not clue Stan in on his late night activities.

But now, seeing Bill try to tiptoe away, he was thankful he was still up. Things happened for a reason, right? "Bill?" He called out, voice gravelly from not having used it in hours. He cleared his throat. "You alright, buddy?"

Bill froze, limbs in a terrible imitation of a caught cartoon character trying to escape. “Uh—“ he coughed out, starting to slowly slink away again. “Y-y-yeah, j-j-just, uh, yeah. G-g-goodnight.”

"Bill, wait." Ben got up and quickly crossed the kitchen over to Bill, arms out. He knew how hard it was on Bill when he had to sleep alone, and it was taking a toll on him faster than he thought it would. He wondered if Bill needed to see a psychiatrist, too. Get something to keep him asleep. He’d bring up the subject later, though. Three in the morning maybe wasn’t the best time to suggest that. "You're stuttering again. Come here, hug me, and tell me what's up."

Bill frowned, dropping his shoulders in defeat when he realized Ben wasn’t gonna drop it. He’d missed his chance at escape, and he hadn’t thought of a good lie. “O-o-okay.” He stumbled over to Ben and let Ben pull him into a hug. He relaxed a bit once he was touched and nuzzled into his chest. His body sang at having contact with a lover and his feelings burst out like Ben held the key. “I m-miss—I w-want...f-fuck!” He clenched his fists, annoyed with himself. Why did his stutter have to come back * _ at the worst times? _ *

"It's okay, honey. Be patient with yourself, you're doing so good." He rubbed Bill's back in small, comforting circles and kissed his head. "Breathe for me, relax." He felt Bill soften, and he continued. "What do you want, baby?

Bill’s grip around Ben tightened and he sighed, trying to listen and breathe with Ben’s insistence. He rubbed his face into Ben’s hardy button up and inhaled. He smelled like wood, which made sense, and oranges. Bill sniffed and allowed his shoulders to drop. “R-Rich and Ed aren’t here, and I had a n-nightmare and...and I s-s-should be able t-to deal w-with it.”

Ben kissed him again. "You don't have to deal with it alone," he promised. "I bet that big bed feels lonely, huh? You want to come sleep with me tonight? Stan's gone, so mine feels pretty lonely, too." Maybe Ben was being too gentle, but he knew that Bill was in many ways...stunted. Just like he had been, and still was. He talked to him the way he wished he’d been talked to when he was younger, comforted him the way he tried to comfort himself when he didn’t feel like he could ask someone to do it for him.

Bill hesitated. He was a man, right? But who said men couldn’t ask for help? All the voices in his head told him to suck it up, but Ben was so comforting and soft. “Yeah, wanna sleep with you.” He blushed. They had never breached that subject, and Bill looked at the ground. “I mean, that too,  _ sex _ , but like, actually sleep, I mean, fucking hell.” He hid his face in his hands, embarrassed.

Ben chuckled, not having expected that reaction. "Well, I'd love both. Always want to sleep with you. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to, though, honey." He gently guided Bill to the stairs as he spoke.

Bill tried to hide his blush in Ben’s shirt and groaned. “I didn’t  _ mean, _ I just, fuck.” He glanced at Ben shyly as he listened to Ben speak. “But I do...want that.” He admitted as they made it to Ben and Stan’s room. He’d been here many times, but never just with Ben. His heart sped up, too many emotions clogging his chest.

Ben smiled widely at Bill’s admission, and gently shut the door behind them as he looked around. Most of the room was slate gray and dark green, and there were some sketches hanging up of birds that Bill had drawn for Stan. Ben moved to the bed and pulled back the jade covers, laying down and patting the spot next to him. "Come on, honey. Bed's warm."

Bill stood at the edge of the bed, struck with the intense feeling of  _ belonging _ and softly reached up to touch one of the drawings that he’d given Stan. “He...really likes them.” 

"He loves them," Ben affirmed. "I like them, too. I framed them for him so we could hang them up." He didn’t want to let anyone touch them, afraid that someone would be careless and mess them up. He figured Stan would feel the same way, and bought the frames and did it himself on a whim one night before Stan got home, managing to get them hung up before Stan walked into their room.

Bill covered his mouth, overcome with the knowledge that Stan and Ben loved him, because they took his art seriously. That must mean...that they took  _ him  _ seriously. Maybe he wasn’t just a big baby all the time, after all. Bill was more surprised then he ought to be, he knew that. This was his  _ boyfriend,  _ after all, but the proof of affection and praise made him speechless for a few moments.

Finally, he drifted over to the bed and crawled in, laying his head on Ben’s chest and curling around him. “I love you.” He said finally.

Ben held Bill close to him, kissing his head. "I love you, too. Do you want to tell me what happened in your nightmare?" He asked, running his hand through Bill's hair, attempting to keep him calm and feeling safe.

At the mention of his dream, Bill’s train of thought faltered and he pressed closer to Ben. “I don’t remember a lot of it, but Georgie was there. He was older and yelling at me.” He shrugged. “I know you all say it wasn’t my fault, and I try to believe you...but it was just awful to hear Georgie say things like that, to say what I think right back to my face.”

"Oh honey," Ben breathed. "You're right. It wasn't your fault, and you tried so hard for him. It was  _ Pennywise’s fault _ , and you kicked his ass for your little brother. I'm sure Georgie knows that, wherever he is. I’m positive he would forgive you for not being there with him that day." He traced an indecipherable pattern on Bill’s arm as he spoke, just wanting Bill to know that he would always be gentle with him. He would never raise his voice with Bill; he’d learned to control that a long time ago. Bill’s emotional trauma was on par with Beverly’s, and Ben liked to think he knew them well enough that he knew what would help. “You were always such a good big brother. Eddie, Richie, and Stan have told me so many stories about the kinds of things you did for Georgie, how you included him in everything. He’d be so proud to be your little brother, Bill.”

Bill forced his mouth shut, refusing to argue with Ben as he spoke. He sunk his face into Ben’s chest, burrowing into the warm shirt as he listened. It  _ hurt,  _ but maybe it was true. Maybe Bill wasn’t a monster. “I want to believe you, a part of me sort of does...it’s just so  _ hard,  _ Ben. I miss him so much. I wish you had known him, Benny. He would have loved you, baby.”

Ben pet his hair, letting out a little hum as he thought. “I wish I had known him too, honey. I bet he would have been so fun.” He traced a finger down Bill’s cheek and tapped at his chin, wanting to see his eyes as they spoke. “I know it’s really hard for you to think about him. I know that. But maybe...maybe forcing yourself to not think about him is making your guilt worse?” Maybe this wasn’t the best time to have this conversation either, but Bill needed to hear it. And normally, Bill was too guarded to listen to him. “What if we put aside one day a year for you to honor Georgie? Like, on his birthday. We can make a cake and everything. Do something he would have loved.”

Bill stared at Ben, trying to control his emotions by staring at the oak brown eyes, eyes that were trying to hold him just like his arms were. “Yeah...I’d like that. My parents didn’t ever talk about Georgie, they got upset when I tried...I haven’t gotten to celebrate his birthday since...well, since before he disappeared.”  _ Before he died.  _ He took a deep breath, allowing the sadness to flow through him, and let Ben see it. He didn’t cry, his eyes just watered, but his grief was palpable.

“Then we’ll do it, baby. I promise.” He tugged Bill up and kissed down his neck, trying to get a giggle out of him. Of course, Bill was allowed his emotions. But Ben hadn’t heard his sweet laugh in so long, and he wasn’t doing a good job of taking care of Bill if he was upset and Ben didn’t make a conscious effort to make him smile. "How can I make you feel better, love? What do you need?"

Bill squirmed at his kisses, feeling heat rush down his spine. “ _ Ben. _ ” he whimpered as he clutched at Ben’s thick arms. “Can you just hold me for a bit? And, keep doing that?” After about thirty minutes, an especially hard nip made Bill gasp and lean into Ben’s kiss. “I want to not think about it, not right now. Tomorrow, maybe, but I want...” He let himself blush. “ _ Need _ you.”

"Need  _ me _ ?" He teased lightly, continuing his trail of kisses. "You've got me, sweetheart. How do you want me? Do you need to fuck me, or do you want me to fuck you? We don't even have to do  _ that. _ I'll do whatever you want." Bill was being so sweet, and Ben had only dared to hope that Bill really thought of him this way, that Ben wasn’t alone in wanting to show Bill affection this way. 

Bill whined, annoyed. His brain wouldn’t work and he just  _ wanted _ . He thought as hard as he could manage as Ben kissed his neck and shoulders, distracting and soft. “Kiss me,” he whispered, realizing he hadn’t kissed Ben very much at all. What a sin, he wanted to kiss Ben  _ all the time. _ “Wanna kiss the hell out of you, Ben. Your  _ lips _ .”

Ben wasted no time in pulling Bill down to kiss him fully on the lips. He nibbled on Bill's bottom lip with hunger, whining quietly against his mouth. He  _ loved _ kissing Bill, and would kiss him as many times as he wanted.

Bill keened and opened his mouth for Ben, wanting to breathe him in. “Benny,” he whimpered, pouting his bottom lip again and moaning when Ben licked against it. He gasped, embarrassed, when he realized he was already hard and had been passively grinding against Ben’s leg without noticing.

"Bill," Ben moaned, his own cock having hardened quickly. "Fuck, need  _ you _ ." He sucked on Bill's lip again before gently moving Bill's lips apart, breathing him in like he knew he liked. He was whining without realizing it, and he suddenly felt like they both had too many layers between them.

Bill’s whole body lit up and he threw off his shirt like it offended him. “I’m gonna fuck you,” he stated, breath hot against Ben’s chest. “And then you’re gonna fuck me,” he insisted, biting a hickey onto Ben’s shoulder, his skin on fire and his heart flying to his throat. 

" _ Please _ ." Ben opened his legs for Bill to slide between them as he left his marks, tilting his head for Bill to have more access to his skin. "Fuck, Bill, I  _ love _ you."

Bill easily slotted in between Ben’s legs and ground his cock against the bulge in Ben’s pants. “I love you, Benny, gonna be so good,” he whispered while he tugged at Ben’s checkered shirt.

Ben helped him remove his shirt and threw it on the ground before tugging off his pants, and reaching for Bill's as he kissed him. "Want you, want you,  _ need you _ ."

“You got me, I’ve wanted you so bad,” he said, eyes wide and pupils dilated. He moaned as Ben pressed his hand to Ben’s hard erection. “I can hear Stan fucking you sometimes and I go crazy.” 

Ben whined at Bill’s touch. "Love hearing you when you fuck Bev, and Richie, and Eddie. You sound perfect, Big Bill. Excited that it's my turn." He'd been a little worried that Bill hadn't made so many moves because, well, they'd been romantic rivals in the past. They were friends, sure. Best friends. But Ben and he hadn't crossed this threshold often, and he hadn’t wanted to push his luck, scared he would scare Bill away. 

“Baby, I promise, I’m gonna take such good care of you.” Bill held Ben’s face in his free hand and kissed him. “Help me take my pants off, Benny.”

"Yes  _ Sir _ ," Ben breathed with a chuckle, helping Bill out of his pants immediately at his command.

Bill’s eyes went wide at being called  _ Sir, _ and he let out a whine. That was so  _ hot.  _ “Say it again, kitten, call me Sir.” He pushed himself on top of Ben and licked down Ben’s neck. “I wanna be that for you, okay? I love you.” 

"Yes  _ Sir _ ," Ben moaned, letting his head lean back a little. "I love you, so much. Loved you for so long, didn't even know it."

He moaned at Ben’s response, Ben wanted him to take care of him, and fuck if Bill wasn’t going to take that seriously. He rutted against Ben a few times. “You gonna let me open you up, sugar?”

Ben let out breathy little  _ ahs _ as Bill rutted against him, and nodded enthusiastically. "Please, Sir, need your fingers."

Bill was going to cry with how good Ben was. Was this how Richie felt with him? He rummaged through a drawer for lube and came to rest his head on Ben’s thigh. He pressed in one finger and it sunk in easily, so he added another, wanting to make Ben whine. “Good, good kitten. Wanna keep you like this, you’re so pretty, begging so nice.”

"Gonna beg for you all the time,  _ Sir, _ " Ben promised, starting to fuck himself on Bill's fingers. "Wanna deserve you."

Bill whispered ‘fuck’ under his breath and moved his fingers for Ben, wanting to find that spot for him. “You do deserve me, this _ feeling _ ,” he promised, rubbing against Ben’s walls and making him whimper, “you deserve that any time you want it, pretty kitty.”

Ben whined against him, moaning as his jaw dropped in pleasure. He  _ loved _ how Bill's fingers felt in him, long and perfect for reaching those places that he really couldn't get to. "I deserve you? You want me?" He needed that reassurance, letting his own needs shine through as Bill took him into a space that he felt more  _ open  _ and  _ safe _ .

Bill curled his fingers roughly and stared into Ben’s eyes, very serious. “You deserve me, and all of this. I want you all the time.” He scissored his fingers, refusing to look away from Ben’s face. You cook in the morning and I’ll watch you do it from my office, you’re so distracting, so pretty while you dance your little ass around the kitchen,” he bit Ben’s thigh while he worked him and leaned up so he could kiss Ben with hungry eyes.

Ben gasped and responded eagerly, kissing him back and nibbling and licking at his lips. "Have to dance for you more often, then." Ben blushed at realizing he’d been caught having his little dance sessions, but he wasn't complaining. Not when he knew it got Bill riled up.

Bill scissored his fingers inside Ben and moaned at how badly he wanted him. “Are you ready? You want my cock, honey?”

"Please Sir, need your cock,  _ please _ ." Ben moaned embarrassingly loudly at Bill's fingers and writhed underneath him. He remembered Stan saying once that he loved how he acted when someone's fingers were inside him, and he didn't know if he agreed. He loved the feeling of course, but it made him needy and he normally lost all control of his mouth. 

Bill’s stomach flipped at Ben’s pleadings. He  _ liked _ this, this might be a  _ thing _ . “Fuck, Ben, don’t worry, love.” He slicked his cock up and down with the lube still stuck to him, and lined himself up. Inch by inch he pressed in, shaking at the intensity e he felt overtaking him. “Fuck, baby! You’re so sexy.”

" _ Bill, _ " Ben moaned as he slid in, gripping at Bill's arms to keep him steady. "Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ ." He was feeling overwhelmed by his own emotions--having Bill like this made him feel  _ included. _ "Needed you for so long, fuck, you're one of the best things that's ever happened to me."

Bill settled inside Ben and pet his face adoringly for a few moments, trying to help him adjust. “I am?” He whispered, a little shocked at the notion. He hadn’t done anything monumental for Ben except swoop in and date Beverly for a while, and he’d always felt like a dick about that.

"Yes, Sir." He whispered, reaching up and covering one of Bill's hands with his own. "You...you started the Losers club. Brought us all together, kept us all together. I can't thank you enough for that." Ben moaned at how good, how full he felt. Bill was a pretty average length, but he was  _ thick _ , and Ben  _ loved _ it.

Bill’s lip wobbled at the implication that Ben needed him, that he viewed Bill as an important figure in his life. In reaction to his truthfulness, Bill pulled his hips back and began to rock into Ben, jagged but slow. “I love  _ you _ , you belonged to me the minute I met you.”

" _ Please. _ " Ben hated that he always got so emotional when he was fucked, but damn if Bill's words didn't hit him straight in the gut. He belonged to Bill? Bill really wanted him? Being like this with  _ Bill _ was so special, something he’d always wanted but didn’t think was within his reach. And if he weren't so full that it was a little overwhelming, he might have had trouble believing it. "Mmhmm, belong to you," he whimpered, fighting back tears."We  _ all _ do. I  _ love _ you."

Bill kissed Ben’s cheeks and held his face, staring at him intensely, needing to see him while he moved inside Ben.. “Don’t hold back, love, I wanna make you feel how much I love you.” Bill rubbed his face against Ben’s cheek, loving the soft fuzz that was the beginnings of a beard.

" _ Bill, _ " He wiggled a little at the intensity in his voice, in his thrusts. "Was so scared you'd hate me after everything with Bev. Fuck, I couldn't live with that. It about made me sick." He felt his tears start to fall as he spoke, catching Bill's lips with his own. "I love you, I'm so thankful that you want me. Sir, please fuck me,  _ need you _ ."

Bill laid his body against Ben’s, loving how his skin lit up with the intimacy of their connection. “I’m thankful you love  _ me _ ,” he rocked into him roughly, keeping his thrusts short. “I could never hate you, not ever. I love Bevvie, but I love you, just as much.”

Ben sobbed at how good this felt, how connected he felt with Bill, and how much he'd needed to hear those words. "You love me," he repeated to himself, trying to reassure his old hurt feelings and calm himself down. "I love  _ you _ , have for so  _ long _ ."

Bill ramped up his thrusts and pushed Ben’s arms above his head so he could hover over him. “I got you. I want you. I love you, let me take care of my sweet boy.”

Ben shivered as Bill restrained him, and he felt himself grow so hard it hurt at his words. "Fuck,  _ Sir, _ yeah.  _ Your _ sweet boy," he babbled, eagerly accepting each thrust Bill gave him.

Bill realized this is how Richie must feel, when he fucks Bill. This much love, and connection. He wanted to make Ben come, but more than that, he wanted to make him happy, and warm. “Ben, you’re so good for me, wanna fuck you until you can’t moan anymore, until you feel so good you cry.”

"Please Bill," Ben begged. "Need it, need it,  _ fuck _ you're so big." Ben almost couldn't breathe with it, but he wanted Bill to know how good it felt.

Bill bent Ben in half and thrusted into him, letting out a loud groan at how good Ben was like this. Stan was a lucky bastard, getting to be with Ben all the time. Bill had been missing out. “Yeah, you like my cock, cutie? Sweet thing?” Bill felt like he was losing control of his tongue but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “You like being my little thing? Taking my cock so good?”

" _ Daddy _ ," Ben finally let it slip. He fucked himself down on Bill's cock, almost thoughtlessly, needing to feel all of Bill. Bill felt fucking  _ incredible _ . "Like taking you, fuck, love it, love being  _ yours _ ."

Bill’s heart stuttered as he fucked into Ben as deeply, trying to angle it for him, trying to make Ben feel as good as possible. “You’re mine,  _ baby _ , little pet. You’re doing so well.” He nuzzled into Ben’s shoulder and began to nip at the skin there.

Ben couldn't speak anymore, just rolled his hips in time with Bill's and focused on taking him, ecstatic about the mark that was being left on his shoulder. He writhed, tried to call out for Bill, but his voice wouldn't work, just let him make tiny little noises of pleasure as he was fucked. He felt himself get close and grabbed at Bill's arms, trying to let him know, ask permission.

Bill looked at Ben’s face and ascertained what Ben needed. He gave him a gentle sweet smile and cooed in his ear. “Come on, come for me, little boy, come for Daddy.”

And come Ben  _ did _ . He still couldn't find words, just came all over the both of them with a deep groan. He finally came back to reality, with Bill kissing him as he blinked. "Fuck, that was incredible," he breathed, voice low and raspy. Had Bill fucked Stan like that? Richie? Any of the others? Because holy shit, it felt like he had serious practice. Ben wanted Bill to do this with him more often...but he knew being a sub was his comfort zone. Ben wouldn't push for it too much. 

Bill had come when Ben had blinked at him like he was the world. He drew a ragged breath and held Ben tightly. “You did so good, baby. I’m so jealous of Stan,  _ fuck. _ ”

Ben let out a laugh, brow raised. " _ You're _ jealous of  _ Stan _ ?" He snuggled closer to Bill. " _ Why _ ?"

Bill snorted and trailed a kiss along Ben’s temple, not ready to let him go anywhere else, yet. “Cause he gets to fuck you, like,  _ all the time.  _ You’re so  _ good,  _ you're a wonderful sub for us, and  _ fuck,  _ Stan must be so good to you.” Bill kissed him soundly. “We are lucky to have him, aren’t we, kitten?”

Ben blushed, kissing him even though he was distracted by what Bill had just said. "So lucky," he said softly, going back to his nervous tick of tracing patterns on Bill. "He's really good to me.  _ Too _ good." He glanced up at his boyfriend. "You will always be so special to him, you know?" He didn't necessarily feel like he was good, but he would spend the rest of his life taking care of them to prove to them they'd made the right decision in choosing him. 

“Nothing is too good for you, baby kitten.” Bill held his cheek to Ben’s, nosing along his jaw. “I know. Sometimes I get afraid that...he’ll love you  _ more,  _ but I believe you. I believe  _ him.  _ I love you both, so fucking much, Bengee.”

Ben would never be over the sweet pet names his lovers gave him. Kitten had to be one of his very favorites, and hearing Bill call him that made his heart skip a beat. "I love you too, Billy." He trembled against Bill, and, trying to quell his nerves, quickly started kissing down his chest. He left tiny licks at Bill's cock and balls before going straight to his hole. "Gotta  _ thank _ you," he insisted, licking him open.

Bill keened and held out his hands. “Ben, baby, you don’t gotta do anything! I loved this with you.” When Ben reached his hole, he gasped and arched his back.

"I loved this with you," Ben promised, watching with a soft smile as Bill fell apart. "But you said you wanted me to fuck you, so I want to do that for you. Please? Let me?"

Bill nodded, a little incoherent at how sweet Ben was being. “Please, I need you to fuck me, Ben, please.”

Ben quickly grabbed the lube, slathering his fingers with it and slowly moving them into Bill, working him open just as slowly and sweetly as he'd done for him. "Love you, love your ass, I've always wanted to fuck you, love, my sweetheart."

Bill cried out, trying to fuck himself back on Ben’s fingers. “I love you, Benny, need it.” He whimpered at the sweetness of it, of how cute Ben looked between his legs.

Ben worked in a second and a third finger, slowly scissoring him open with one hand while the other worked his cock. He slid in quickly once he thought Bill was ready, leaning down to kiss him as he sunk in. " _ Love _ you,  _ need _ you."

Bill made a surprised sound and arched into Ben’s thrust. “Fuck, baby, I love you.” His lip quivered, and he covered his face in embarrassment. “I  _ love _ you, please, fuck me.”

"I love  _ you _ ," he swore, thrusting into him harder. "Come on, honey, you're safe with me." He nibbled lightly at Bill's bottom lip, pulling up his legs to get a better angle.

Bill threw his head back and moaned, loving the new angle that Ben’s cock was slamming against. “Please, you’re my home, please, I need you,” he wasn’t sure what he was saying but he couldn’t stop talking. He kept Ben pinned against his front with his legs wrapped around his hips.

Ben got as close as he could, fucking him deep. "You've got me, little bear, home is wherever you are. I love you." He kissed at Bill's neck and nipped a little, licking at the bite he left and moving to mark another spot among the myriad of others he left earlier. He could understand, now, why Stan liked that so much. "You're mine, I'm yours. Fuck. I  _ love _ you."

Bill whined at Ben’s sweet words and writhed against his thrusts. “Please, I love you, want your come.” He blushed terribly at the words coming out of his mouth and gasped at the love bites. “More,” he begged, reaching to kiss him.

"You'e got me," Ben promised once more, fucking Bill faster as he spoke. He kissed Bill hard, thrusting one, two, three more times before spilling inside, finally letting them both drop gently against the bed to let Bill be more comfortable. He continued to thrust, and lightly stroked Bill's cock. "Can you come for me again, sweetheart?"

Bill cried out, loving the feeling of Ben’s cock shooting off inside him. “Wanna come for you,” he sobbed, rutting into Ben’s hand. He looked up at Ben with adoration. “I love you, Benny.”

"Fuck, I love you so  _ much, _ Bill." He let his strokes go a little faster, still fucking into Bill. "I love you, pretty thing. Come for me. You can do it, sweetheart."

Bill’s vision went white and he yelped at how hard his orgasm hit him. When he blinked back into existence a few moments later, he was chanting Ben’s name as he humped against Ben’s hand. He smiled shyly; this was the most intimate they had ever been, and Bill was ecstatic. 

Ben kissed his smile, still stroking as Bill rode out his orgasm. Once Bill's hips stilled he gently let go, sliding out and moving to curl up next to his boyfriend with a kiss to his cheek. "I love you," he whispered in his ear, hugging him close.

Bill preened at the affection and held onto Ben tightly. “Please don’t make me sleep alone,” he finally whispered, clinging to Ben, having decided to ask for what he needed. “I know Stan comes home first but  _ please _ .”

"Of course not," Ben promised. "You can sleep with me whenever you want. I'm sure Stan won’t mind, either, baby. We  _ love _ you."

Bill wiggled, unsure. “Don’t wanna be a bother to Stan.” He hid his face in Ben’s pillow. “Or Daddy Ben.”

Ben immediately grabbed his face, peppering it with kisses and praising him for using the term so freely. He had thought about talking to Stan, letting him know that he was willing to be Daddy for him sometimes too, and Bill calling him that gave him a little confidence boost. He'd have to talk to Stan about that the minute that he got back. Right now, though, he wanted to focus on the baby in front of him. "My sweet boy, you're never a bother to Daddy Ben or Daddy Stan. I  _ promise. _ " He pulled Bill against him, kissing his head. "We care about you, baby Bill."

Bill frowned, unsure. “I...don’t feel like a good baby. Am too needy.” He’d only really talked about this with Richie and Eddie and it still plagued him and he didn’t know how to make it stop. Maybe he was broken? “Shouldn’t I...wouldn’t you all rather I be Big Bill?”

"But that's what makes you the  _ best _ baby," Ben gently corrected. "Daddy Ben gets worried about that sometimes with his own Daddy. I understand, sweet pea, but I promise you, we love it. You don't have to be Big Bill all the time, honey. We love Bill, big  _ or _ baby."

Bill blinked at Ben and gave him a very shy smile. “Daddy promises? Baby Bill is good Bill?” He was embarrassed he was talking this way, but he needed to be like this. He needed to baby talk to get it through his head, since he felt  _ safe. _ He trusted Ben. “Ben is good baby  _ and _ good Daddy, Bill loves you.”

"Daddy  _ promises _ . I love you too, sweet boy. So much." He continued to pepper Bill's face with kisses, exaggerating them to hopefully make him giggle as he gently teased at Bill's tummy, trying to find a ticklish spot. "Daddy's sweet little  _ boy _ ," he cooed.

Bill giggled a little bit, then  _ a lot _ a bit. “Nooo, noooo tickles!” He shrieked, half-heartedly trying to crawl away. “Please! Am a sweet boy!”

"Alright, alright, no more tickles, baby. Come here, you're just too sweet and Daddy wants to eat you up." He cuddled Bill, rubbing circles on his back again. "Is somebody tired?" He cooed.

Bill pouted. “Maybe? But...I don’t...want this to stop? I really love you and I miss you.” He eased back into talking more normally, feeling more secure, and nuzzled into Ben’s arms. “You’re a good Daddy.”

Ben's heart fluttered. "It won't stop, baby boy. I'll be your Daddy any time you want." He kissed at his face, following the sweet little line of freckles that they all were so endeared to. "I really love and miss you too, baby Bill."  _ He _ was a good Daddy? The thought warmed his heart. As much as he loved being the baby most of the time, he really liked being able to be this, too.

Bill snuggled into Ben’s hold and sniffled sleepily. “I like...that I can be both Bills...with all of you. Because I’m both of the Bills, you know? And you know that, because you  _ know _ me.”

"Just like I'm both Bens." He nodded, trying to make it known that he understood. "I'm so glad you trust us enough to let us see you like this. We love loving you, you know?"

Bill wiggled and let out a belly laugh. “I feel like I get to be  _ me _ .” Bill rolled them over and straddled Ben. “I wanna kiss you again, because I love you, and your lips are soft,” he whispered, like it was a secret.

Ben blushed a little as Bill turned them and he pulled Bill close. "Please kiss me again. I love you, too, and I love your kisses."

Bill pinched Ben’s cheek and kissed it after he released his soft skin from his fingers. He moved his lips over Ben’s and gave him slow soft kisses, kisses that said ‘I’m lucky to have you’ and ‘you’re special to me’ and ‘you’re safe.’

Ben's tummy flipped at the affection and he kissed back just as softly--kisses from Bill were always so soft, so full of warmth and love. He'd only had a few, but each one was one of his favorites, and getting so many at once was a little overwhelming. Finally, finally he felt like whatever wall had come up between himself and Bill was  _ long _ gone. "I  _ love _ you," he whispered against Bill's lips, keeping him close to continue the kisses.

Bill moved his kisses to Ben’s nose and eyebrows. “I love your sweet face,” he whispered, nipping down on Ben’s top lip. “I know...I know you’re sad and scared a lot, because I feel the same way, but we don’t need to be that way, we’re safe and we’re growing.”

"This, with you, helps." Ben promised, letting Bill work as he needed to. "We're so lucky. I'm so happy with all of you, really, I am. And I'm so tired of being sad and scared. I'm trying to get better." He reached up and cupped Bill's cheek, rubbing his thumb against the skin there. "We can hold each other accountable for that."

Bill beamed at him like sunshine and pulled him up nose to nose with him. “I can do that, I’ll do that with you, Ben.” He kissed him as a promise. “We’re soulmates, remember?”

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Do I Wanna Know by the Arctic Monkeys
> 
> Please leave a kudos, and if you already have, please leave a comment! Find us on tumblr at lethimrunsonia and kitchen-witch-bitch. 
> 
> We have a blog! Please follow polyamorylosersau on tumblr.


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